Most of us know there are things in our lives we need to change.

Maybe it’s a big deal, like quitting smoking. Or, something a bit smaller like not going back for one more piece of chocolate when you know you’ve hit your limit.

The road bump (or road block, rather) pops up when attempting to implement change.

Why can’t you make transitions happen for yourself? It’s called self-sabotage, and it’s a doozy.

Mike Bundrant, author of Your Achilles Eel: Discover and Overcome the Hidden Cause of Negative Emotions, Bad Decisions and Self-Sabotage, recently sat down with Dr. Holly to chat about why we make bad decisions and what to do about it.

First, it’s important to understand that about 95 percent of your decisions are made unconsciously. You only become conscious of them after the fact. Those decisions and behaviors develop into a habit; a pattern.

Soon, you’re so “comfortable” with them that you’d prefer a familiar misery over a foreign happiness. As the saying goes, you “stick with the devil you know.”

Ugh, right?

To break the pattern, you have to recognize two very important factors: your behavior and the results of that behavior. If you’re constantly breaking your diet, which causes you to binge, then feel bad about yourself and ultimately give up, those negative results are absolutely self-sabotage.

Name the thing that’s holding you back. For example, if you have a fitness goal but you haven’t been able to accomplish it, you might also have to admit that you’re driven to slack at the gym. Really dig in and identify why you’re unconsciously creating and preferring the pattern of self-sabotage.

In short, Mike’s three steps to overcome self-sabotage are this:

1) Stop being frustrated with yourself. Don’t ask why you keep failing. There’s no reason to marvel at it like it’s a surprise that you’re sabotaging yourself. To solve the problem of self sabotage, just look at what you’re doing.

2) Recognize you’re doing it. As Dr. Holly puts it, at the end of each day, perform a “daily autopsy.” The day is dead, and you’re not getting it back. Assess what happened and why. Find the part of yourself that wants to move toward the pro-survival goal.

3) Work through the sabotaging behavior. Once you recognize what you’re doing (and why), it’s easier to spot.

The final piece of advice, which make so much sense, is that you likely don’t need more information to make change, you just need more motivation.

You know the routine! To learn more, click here.